September 2018, in the umpteenth attempt yet again to write my book, I grumpily asked myself, “Who needs to read this book anyway? Why should anyone care about what I have to say?”
It was an early morning, and I was sitting in bed looking out to the back garden through the glass window. As soon as that question arose, a yellow hummingbird landed on a green leaf and started singing. Out of nowhere, this voice whispered in my ear, “The songbird sings because Creator has a song that Creator wants you to hear.”
I was shocked, startled, and then started sobbing.
I’m pretty lucky that throughout my life, I’ve almost never really cared who’s read my writing, who’s liked it, who’s commented on it. I write for the sheer joy and exhilaration of expressing myself and having that life force energy flow through me. But… writing and publishing a book somehow felt different… as if there was more stake in it, more importance to it… After hearing that whisper in my ear that morning, I suddenly saw the publishing of my book as similar to singing the birdsong.
There are so many songbirds here in my garden… always playing, jumping, chirping around. Sometimes, when I’m too busy and caught up in front of the screen, I’m totally oblivious to them. They might be singing a lovely melodious tune for a few minutes and I don’t even hear them! Still, they keep singing. They don’t care whether anyone listens.
Indeed, I wrote these lines in a poem in the published book Songs of the Rose
“Thanks to you, my songs and praises need not be heard, just sung.
Like the morning birds, my lips grew sweet, whether or not you listen.”
Someone asked me prior to the book launch, “How much are you pricing your book?”
The truth is, I don’t set out to make money from publishing this book. I do it for my own pleasure. This particular book is about ME pleasing myself. It’s not about me pleasing anyone, trying to make anyone happy, influence them, or create a status for myself. Indeed, the book is sooo indulgent that many readers say they have to slowly savor it. So I guess, by me giving myself pleasure, others get to experience pleasure too Just like the birds singing for their own pleasure, and in that process, they’re also giving joy to others.
That’s why I want to make the book very affordable so that many people can enjoy this pleasure! But not to make it readily available for free… One thing I believe is that – If someone doesn’t value something enough to pay for it, they’re not gonna value it enough to enjoy it when it’s free either.
Back to my question at the beginning, “Why should anyone care about what I write?”
Yes. Exactly that. No one should care about what I write.
And because of that, I am free. Free to create, express, please myself, be a channel for life force energy, enjoy the exhilaration of the creative process and savor its fruits.
And also, because of that, those who want to read what I write… I’m sure they’re going to have a grand, grand time.